idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Randomize
