I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
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