I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
