The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
True strength comes from lack of pants
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
