K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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