She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
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