I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Randomize
