why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Randomize
