i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
