Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
God I need to hump something, right now.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
