a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Randomize
