I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
