we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
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