i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
Randomize
