went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
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