Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
