i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
you mean i was at the winter classic?
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
