It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
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