its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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