I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
