READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
