Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Randomize
