If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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