dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
this is an emotional support booty call
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Randomize
