just come out here and I will go home with you...
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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