True but thats because hes a fetus.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
