how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
I think a kid would responsible me up
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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