:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
