I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
