im gay
i know
yea but for you.
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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