Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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