She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Randomize
