Just mADE A PArabola og urine
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Randomize
