they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
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