the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Randomize
