apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Randomize
