Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
She's JV to your varsity
There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Randomize
