no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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