evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
