Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
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