Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
