I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Randomize
