i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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