dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
