There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Randomize
