He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
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