We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
