is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
