meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Randomize
