OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
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