That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
