So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
