I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Randomize
