I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Holy sore nipples Batman
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
