The maid of honor just puked.
My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
